If you have a blog and don’t make a numbered list of things, well, you don’t really blog do you? There are not many things that I’d consider myself fully qualified as an expert in, but quitting is pretty easy for me. So here is my expertly selected and distinguished 7 reasons to quit. Also, these are numbered but only in the order in which they entered my thoughts. If you don’t agree with them, well that makes sense.
- It Makes You Miserable
You sit down at your desk, roll the deck back on your trusty old typewriter, put paper in the compartment thingy, and decide you’d rather hang yourself. Okay I don’t know how to work a typewriter but you get the gist. Getting some words out makes you want to kill yourself. Sounds like you hate it to me.
Now just to clarify, I am not talking about creative anxiety. Everyone who writes or arts or whatever feels uninspired, lethargic, and just not into it like they know they should. Get that doubt BS out of your head, that’s not the same thing as being miserable. Even if writing causes you great anxiety, most likely you will be miserable if you don’t do it. So do it, or don’t, depending on whether it makes you incredibly miserable, or uncomfortably anxious. This is your life now. I have given it back to you after secretly stealing it from you when you entered this blog-realm. Lucky you.
- You are So Poor You Can’t Even Afford the Materials
So I had always heard that JK Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, was so poor that she wrote sections of the Sorcerers Stone on napkins since she couldn’t afford paper. Unfortunately she dispelled this myth, but she did write the names of the Hogwarts Houses on the back of a sick bag. She was pretty damn poor regardless, and yet she still could get a notepad and pen.
So don’t give me that excuse unless you can’t even afford a ten-cent package of ramen noodles. If your occupation costs more money, go max out some credit cards or something. Or don’t and give up and quit. That’s the whole point of this blog post, to convince you to stop doing what you are doing, especially if you are a writer.
- You are Hitler
Pretty self-explanatory, if you are Hitler or just the writing avatar of him, then stop doing it immediately, also turn your self into the authorities. But seriously, it is so easy to take money for yourself and ignore the results of your actions, or make excuses. You know when you are doing something evil and no matter how much you deceive yourself with your good intentions, contributing to evil is the same as being it.
Also let the record show that Hitler was the worst and had the worst intentions. I feel it’s strange to have to make sure I fully reject every aspect of him upon his mention, but alas this is the Internet age.
- You Want To Be Mocked for Failing To Accomplish Anything
Way to just give up you imbecile.
- You are Not Me and Also a Writer
Widely regarded as the most important reason to quit. Clearly I am really good at writing and will never quit. Unless you want to be my editor or agent or something you should just get out of the writing game all together. Also I know where you live.
- There is a Bomb Strapped to You or Your Favorite Being and If You Write Another Word (or Whatever It Is You Do) It Will Go Off
I assume its probably strapped to your large love-able husky if not yourself. It would be a horrible waste to let such a dumb thing as your dreams end its joyous upbeat life. Just look into those beautiful glacier blue eyes and remember all the wonderful times you had together. That time Waldo pooped in your bed and rolled in it, spreading all across your recently cleaned apartment. Or that time he brought you that dead armadillo. He just stood there happily, wagging his tail like he had done so good, and dropped the rotting shell of the animal on your doormat. Poor Waldo, he will be missed, unless you stop writing right now.
- You’ve Found Yourself at the Bottom of this List and You Can Not Take Anymore and Want to End It All
Well that’s definitely all the reasons to quit writing or any other worthwhile activity. If you need anymore numbered headlines to tell you how the world works, maybe I’ll write an updated post eventually. Until then just use these fully researched points as a reference for your decision.