After this first establishing post, most of my posts will be about the process and problems of writing. For me this blog is about inspiring myself to be a better writer and to keep at it daily. Hopefully this inspiration can spread outside of my own creative expression and into any other creators work.
I am an outsider to success. I say this because to fail would mean that you had to have tried. Instead I have spent most of my life putting some percentage other than one hundred into things I wanted to succeed at. There were a few things I put one hundred percent of myself into, but the time passed for those things and I failed to continue that mind set. Some of the things I put all my efforts into were just not meant to be, and that’s okay. Even if you really want something, move on if you feel it’s out of your reach. Put your efforts into something within your reach, something you feel, however unlikely, is attainable.
This sentiment describes my artistic descent from music, illustration, and sequential story telling and my ascent into writing. The reality is that these were things that, though I loved them, I could not feel or see a success in. Though I had moderate talent, I lacked something in all these efforts. That’s not to say I gave them up entirely, but I gave up on the dream of being a professional musician or artist. I can no longer see that reality and in all honesty, I don’t want it. I think future success is what drives most of my hobbies or interests, which isn’t inherently bad, but it definitely can be a source of anxiety and depression.
That’s why I say you have to give up on some dreams, find new ones that you didn’t know were possible. Reassess your interests, it’s possible that what you were meant to do was there all along but you never gave it the time of day. That’s why I am so serious about writing after nearly 28 years of having either little interest, or a lack of confidence to even begin such an endeavor. I find myself utterly satisfied by the prospect of becoming a better writer. I know I am not a great writer, but I see now that it doesn’t matter. This is what I want to do and it doesn’t depend on anyone but myself. I can pride myself in the effort I put forth. I can’t wait to fail because that will mean that I really tried. Failing is much more fun than being an old man thinking of the things you could have done. Instead I will be a fairly young man doing those things and hoping that the next thing I write will be successful.
Nothing has felt more right to me than writing does to me now. So you are welcome to come observe my magnificent failures and revel in my distress. Or you can find some way to relate and cheer me on through my lack of talent and into the realm of “not too bad”.